this is the trick
so let’s talk about the internet, kind of
or: rupturing the memory-making process (draft 0 of my walking narrative project)
or: i am drunk on negative sleep so here’s what i can do to remember this
or: I AM SO FUCKING RUSTY AT ‘WRITING’ MY GOD
- realising your main form of communication/interaction is now emails&chat thanks to never answering your phone/not ‘taking social media seriously’ (cool)
“you should get a business card”
“yeah but it’s heaps hard streaming my various personae i guess”
- meeting more new ‘internet people’ in one month than i have fingers (hiiiiiii)
- that time we coaxed the grove kids out of the house and ate dumplings. at a restaurant! joy:
post-ironic yuppies: look at us ‘employed’ and ‘grinding the corporate life’, flying out on business trips, working button-down shirts and knocking back scotch before bedtime. sorry, cider, sorry, who the hell are we (secretly still students)
- inner west band names: grovves, glebecore, ultimotown, tempe trap, OOFFFFF
“you always give the impression you’re waiting to skip town the first chance you get”
yep
- that time you broadcast pretty clearly and it was offered to you and you wondered why you turned it down until you remembered ‘what is right and what is easy’ and also you have a habit of getting hung up about things
“you walk like you really don’t give a shit.”
steezy taught me
- spending your only two consecutive days off work with melbroads talking serious business. drink a lot, eat a lot, mindbrew, handflail, swear and shout and slang, smile. the rare down-time you’ve given yourself leaves you bored out of your brain and you realise you can’t wait to spend your saturday night answering work emails
- oh my god what happened to my life why am i so boring ughhhh
- swagazine:
(from nath)
- research:
- i like low-density cities. i like the people and the details and the refreshing lack of ego.
- also, how not to get the attention of melbabes on the other side of the room:
(from tash)
“you will never develop a personality until you turn 21.”
- avocado bloody mary bagels MY GOD
- after creative binges it’s nice to detox with old friends in different fields. hearing S talk about her medical program is way more interesting than having to explain my current preoccupation with paper stock and sincerity. see also: her concrete problem-solving approach to life vs the self-aware chronicling tactics i employ. the way we recognise we’re different people from 2/5/10 years ago, shaped by time and circumstances and decisions made/not made. realising i’ve made huge stretches in ‘personal growth’ and so have others in different ways and that’s nice, it’s always nice, but it doesn’t mean i necessarily ‘get’ people and how/why they work and it’s a process, it’s always a process.
‘i really admire your ability to shape the way you see the world in words,’ she says. but all i can think about is the way she knows me to the core, has learned to diagnose and break down anatomy inside and out, can reduce me to a string of latin words and tendons and open twitching nerves. pretty sure she’s learned more about people from textbooks, in four years, than i’ll ever learn from a lifetime of fuckups and experience.
ALSO:
- that time we were smashing tofu asada burritos and we were all having a Moment and ‘home’ by lcd soundsystem started playing and i thought ‘oh shit don’t make me do this again’
because i was supposed to head back to sydney and everything, everything i do reconfirms my love/hate attitude towards this city. and i thought about the super relevant lyrics of the song, and how frequently my short trip had been punctuated by startling moments of real happiness, unlike the way life in sydney is a weirdly contrived effort to keep things hip and happening and a stepping stone to something better.
i don’t know if it was sitting in the airport terminal that clinched it, or the city, or the purpose of the trip/being on a ‘break’, or the people, or even just the fact that i was sitting in a taco diner smashing a meal i will never find anything close to matching in sydney. i am TIRED and oh my god i have to work in like five hours. of course. we’ll leave the conclusion for another day.
